Posted by: endobitch | April 23, 2009

Are you there God? It’s me, Endo Bitch.

This is our very first entry on our fab new blog – Endo Bitch. We hope we just keep getting better from here on out, but we’re not making any promises. Since this is our first post, we felt it should be one with teeth. (Endo Bitch: We love controversy…)

Before we start, we want to say one thing. There are a hell of a lot of good OB/GYNs out there that perform excellent annual exams, help us with our female problems, and get us through pregnancy, labor, and delivery. We sincerely thank you for all you do. You play an important role in our lives and we need you.

All righty then. Let’s get down to it.

Our topic for today is:

There are just way too many OB/GYNs out there with a God complex.

Yes, that’s what we said: A God complex. Maybe you’ve heard of it. If not, no problem. We’re totally into the whole community service thing, so here’s a definition to make sure we’re all on the same page. Urban Dictionary defines God Complex like this:

A person who is said to have a “God complex,” does not believe he is God, but acts so arrogantly that he might as well believe he is God or appointed to act by God. (Note: Some believe that “God complexes” are particularly common in arrogant, highly educated, worldly, or powerful people.)

That’s it, the good ol’ God Complex. Arrogant? Yes. Always knows best? Yes. Powerful? Yes. That describes many of the doctors we’ve worked with over the years. This whole God complex thing is one of the biggest barriers to getting effective, proper treatment in the endometriosis community. We’re talking about doctors that really don’t know a damn thing about treating endometriosis, but want us to believe that they do. (Endo Bitch: They probably believe their own total bullshit.) It is also something we haven’t spoken out about for fear of losing the care we so desperately need. (Endo Bitch: Refer back to note about arrogant, powerful, etc. etc.) Speak up and you could lose your doctor. Speak up and you could be left alone to suffer in agony while your doctor plays the 9th hole in a round of golf. Whatever happened to free speech?

Well, screw that. We’ve had enough of this craptastic treatment. We’re done being cut open and closed up by doctors that don’t know how to help us. We are sick women. We are vulnerable. We want to believe our doctors can help us and we’ll do just about anything if we think it will deliver us from pain and debilitation. So we do the surgeries. We take the medicine. We get down on our hands and knees to beg for any small glimmer of hope our doctors can give us. The problem is, we need experts. Experts in endometriosis that know what they’re doing.

So we’re here to set the record straight. We’re calling you out. We’re takin’ it to the mattress. Bottom line? We’re asking you to knock it off. We’re asking you to do your job – which means referring us to a specialist when you are out of your league. Really, we don’t want to be forced to post your picture on our Endo Wall of Shame (Endo Bitch: Just kidding. We don’t have a wall of shame, but wouldn’t it be great if there was one?)

Our List of Demands

You’re probably thinking right now that a couple of sick women with a list of demands for OB/GYNs that have a God complex is rather hilarious, if not pathetic. (Endo Bitch: It is funny. But what the hell, we have one anyway.) Go ahead and laugh. What do we care? The Constitution probably started out as someone’s “To Do” list on a piece of wood that just kind of morphed over time into this really important document that shaped our country as we know it today. Our list? It’s a sticky note destined to become part of the Hippocratic Oath – an addendum so to speak. It’s dedicated to all the OB/GYNs out there that have screwed us over, left us in agony, and that have shattered the hope that we could get help and get better. All so that you didn’t have to admit you didn’t really know what you were doing. (Endo Bitch: Oh! We just love dedications. Nice.)

There is no nice way to say this, and anyway, we’re sick of being nice. So listen up:

  • Quit acting like you’re an expert in endometriosis. A medical degree and the title of OB/GYN does not qualify you to open us up to dink around with our insides.
  • Quit pretending that you have the knowledge, skill, and expertise to conduct surgery to remove endometriosis, when you don’t.
  • Quit telling us that there is nothing that can be done for us. The only reason you do this is because you don’t know how to help us.
  • Quit telling us you “cleaned us out” and we’re good to go. You did absolutely nothing but open us up, do a lookey-loo around, confirm we have endo, play with your laser gun to remove a lesion or two, and then close us back up.
  • Quit telling us it’s all in our heads and we should probably see a psychiatrist. It’s not in our heads, it’s on our organs. Like our uterus. And ovaries. And fallopian tubes. And bladder. And kidneys. And colon. You get the picture.
  • Quit acting like you’re the last stop on the route – that if you can’t help us – no one can. It’s not true, and you know it.

Christ almighty, when it comes to endometriosis, just refer us to a specialist. Believe it or not, they do exist. You won’t lose our business or our respect. In fact, you will gain our allegiance and our loyalty. Be honest with us when you don’t have the knowledge or the skill to operate. Tell us that you don’t know enough about endometriosis to do us justice. You will gain our trust and save us from an unnecessary surgery by a person unqualified to perform it.

As the line in Jerry McGuire goes:

“Help us to help you.

Help US to help YOU.

HELP US TO HELP YOU.”

(Endo Bitch: Ah, the line was actually, “Help me to help you.” But, well… never mind.)

There. We’ve said it. Got it? ‘Nuf said.

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Responses

  1. Girrrrrls, you put the “b” back in bitch! I’m proud of ya!

  2. Endo Bitch you are my voice. I love this post, I love where this blog is headed and can’t wait to hear/read more! Can I get amen?! Amen, Sisters.

  3. AMEN!

  4. Amen, Amen, Amen!

  5. I just discovered this blog today and it made me cry. Finally someone vocalizes the anger and emotional pain and agony that goes along with the physical pain. I will be visiting this blog often. It makes me feel a little better to read that other women are going through this too and I am not alone. Thank you!

    • Hi Victoria!
      Sorry about the delay in responding – and in posting. I’ve been up to my eyeballs in work-related commitments. I wish I could just do the blog full time! 🙂 I’m so sorry it made you cry – but perhaps that’s a good thing. This blog was started because of the absolutely ferocious anger I have had at all of the women’s stories I’ve heard about having endo and nothing that can be done about it. I’m so angry – and I think a lot of other women are too – about such simple things as awareness, support, research. It’s maddening. I hope you will come back again. We need you!!

      New posts soon.

      Endobitch

  6. Listen up ladies, I’m not saying I have the cure but I found something that works for me. http://www.endovan.com komodo pharmaceuticals. I had surgery in 08. Dr. removed my right fallopain tube then did all the stuff they say will work but doesn’t. I have been taking this since 09 and have NO pain. My periods are light and don’t even have cramps. Give it a try and tell your friends. Everyone I told about it has tried it and it has worked for them.
    Deanna

  7. AGREE! I have been dealing with this pain for the last 12 years. I was diagnosed with a spastic colon – ibs – and then this latest dr decided I needed to have “pelvic rehabilitation therapy” she said it’s because I was spasaming. In case you don’t that is when they stick probes in you’re ass and vagina and shock you for an hour once a week, ya I did that for about 6 months because she kept telling me it would help. Finally through my own research I said I had endometriosis – saw a diff doctor – had a lap. She told me she got rid of a bunch of it on the back of my uterus and something about my colon and appendix – and I should be better – ummm no it was better for a while but a year later it’s back to how it was – waking up at night like someone is shoving a sword up my butt and out my stomach over and over, passing out from the pain UGH I wish I could put that dr that gave me the pelvic rehabilitation crap on a Endo Wall of Shame!!!!

  8. That last comment was by me – I forgot to fill in my info 🙂


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