Posted by: endobitch | April 30, 2009

Only Hard Decisions Left to Make

Okay, so here we sit. All’s quiet on the Western Front. We’re hoping to create some controversy, some conflicted emotions and feelings. We want you to get riled up in a positive way – so that others will sit up and take notice. We have no idea if it’s working. So far, we have just three (Endobitch: Count ’em three.)  comments on our blog postings. Now we’re not knocking those three comments – hey – gracias amigas. But, ultimately, we define our own fate, right? So we figured we’d just weigh in on our site and how we feel about it. (Endobitch: You go Endobitch girlfriend.)

We think our blog is absolutely stellar. Fab. The rage. Bitchin’. (Endobitch: Right on!) Problem solved. We hope you agree.

All  righty then. Let’s get down to it.

Today’s issue is:

Some women only have hard decisions left to make.

We’re thinking about all the women out there tonight that are suffering. Pain. More pain. Terrible, excrutiating, unbearable pain. (Endobitch: Say it with us, sistas! Get yer’ heating pad and turn it on high!) We know you want this to end. We know you feel like you just can’t take it anymore – and you probably can’t. Faking it at work. Faking it at home. Faking it at the charity ball where you’re trying to raise funds for some other worthy cause. You have this cross to bear and, well, it’s just too much. We hear you, we really do. Maybe no one else does, but really, we do.

That being said, we personally know many women with endo – from mild to severe. We’ve all been through the ringer  – and it’s not about to stop. We’ve tried changing our diets. Cut out the sugar. Cut out processed foods. We’ve just about cut out our digestive tracks and while we were at it, tried to rip out our stomachs. We’ve tried acupressure, acupuncture, physical therapy, occupational therapy, and drugs.  Oh, speaking of drugs – can you say true friend and arch nemesis at the same time? We need the drugs to function, but then we’re labeled as “drug seeking” because of it. What the hell? (Endobitch: We want Vicodin…oh! And while you’re at it –  Percoset!) Drugs = relief. Drugs = addict. Are you kidding us?? We all know it’s because the people prescribing the drugs have never had endo and if they had, they’d be standing on the street corner handing out free samples.

Let’s get down to brass tacks. (Endobitch: The bottom line, so to  speak.)The reality is, that some of us only have hard decisions left to make. We’ve tried everything there is to try. We’d stand on our heads and rub our vulva’s at the same time if we thought it would make a difference. Why do we keep fooling ourselves that some alternative treatment will fix the problem? Why do we think that suppression – by Lupron, birth control, or some other drug – will keep the endo from coming back? (Endobitch: F-ing Lupron. We can feel our bones whittling away as you write.) It won’t.  It may lesson symptoms. It may improve our functioning, to some degree. But it isn’t a cure. It won’t fix things long term. We want it to, but we’re here to tell you, it won’t. Many of us are at a crossroads: continue trying alternative ways of fixing the problem or go in deep and have surgery. Face it, surgery has become the only option in many cases.

So what’s the problem? A little anesthesia, some slicing and dicing, and wha-la! Problem solved. The problem is that this is only the beginning.  One surgery leads to another, and another, and then still another. When will it ever end? Hard answer: It doesn’t. One surgery does not a problem solve. Many of us are in it for the long haul. That means that just because you’ve had surgery, does not mean you will not have another surgery. And another. And so on.

And there’s a dirty little secret related to all of these surgeries that very few of us talk about.  The secret is that too many endo surgeries can do more harm than good. It may help with the endo, but it can then cause a whole new set of health problems. Complications from trying to dig that crap out of our organs, pelvic floors, and whatever else you care to name. (Endobitch: Can you say “double bind”?)

This is why many of us only have hard decisions left to make. We can’t fix this through diet, exercise, and positive thought programs. (Endobitch: Thanks Tom Cruise.) We have to seriously consider going under the knife over and over and over again. We have to risk exposure to a whole new set of health issues due to way too many endo surgeries. Truth be told? That seems to be the only real solution, doesn’t it? Until enough funding is designated for diseases that affect women – and only women – we will be sentenced to suffer. Period. (Endobitch: I’ve got mine!!)

There. We’ve said it. Got it? ‘Nuf said.

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Responses

  1. omg. I so identify with this right now. thank you endobitch and endobitch friend!! Funny, gut-wrenching and everything in between. nothing but the truth ladies, thank you, finally someone isn’t afraid to call it all like it is. There may not be an answer to any of this but at least call this shite what it is instead of pretending stuff helps/cures us.

  2. Hmm. I’m confused.

  3. Just wanted to say that I found your blog and will be following it 🙂 Keep up the good work!

  4. I love your blog. It says everything I feel but cannot say because it seems like people don’t want to here. I recently got diagnosed but I’ve been in pain for years.

    Here’s how I feel right now. (WARNING: serious rant)

    I love that you say there’s no cure. I love how random people come up to you and say have you tried (insert phrase here). Most people don’t get it. This is not the type of thing where you pop two tylenol and feel better. (You might as well pop two tic tacs). People expect you to be fully recovered after surgery. So I can now walk without being in pain but I still have occasional diarrhea and vomit sometimes. And no it is not something I ate, I haven’t had orange juice, dairy, red meat or caffeine in years. No I am not lactose intolerant and can’t just take lactaid. Yes I have an illness that has no cure and I’ve been in pain for years. I’m not sure if I will ever be pain free. I’m tired, I hurt, I’m frustrated, I’m scared and that’s why I’m cranky. You would be too if you were bloated, nauseated, aching from the waist down, had pooped 6 times and puked twice and knew that most doctors would look at you like they have for years and told you that there was nothing wrong with you. And while we’re at it what’s with these huge chunks of blood that come out of my nose every month. I don’t want to blame everything on endo but what is this. What’s a girl to do never work or have fun again???

    I hope enough of us get together and our voice gets loud enough to fight this. We have to do something so I don’t feel guilty about having a little girl and sentencing her to the pain that my mom and grandma had to suffer through.

  5. Endo bitch…..I love your blog. I relate to everything that you are saying. It is soooo true. Thanks for the blog. I will be following it from now on!

  6. I will never forget how much suffering my mother went through with this sickness and how poorly she was treated. If men had this sickness, there would be a cure today!

  7. If you have the right kind of surgery done, one time is all you will need. Repeat surgeries are done when the wrong method/inept surgeon is used. Go to an EXCISION specialist who will EXCISE the endo from your body, and you will be free from it. I’ve had it done, as have many others. My doctor is here:
    http://www.endoexcision.com

    I encourage you and whoever else is reading this to look into this. Complete excision of endometriosis is a cure. You can look it up online, too. Another good site is:
    http://www.angryuterus.com
    That is how I found my doctor.

  8. Keep it up endobitch. I keep telling my husband – pretend like you’ve been kicked in the balls, every 5 minutes, everyday for the rest of your life.

    • Ha! That’s exactly how I described it to my husband. He’s been nothing short of amazing and sympathetic since then. =)

    • Hey –

      Love, love, love it. You are a brave woman. Great analogy.

      Several new posts coming soon!

      Endobitch

  9. OMG! That is how I have explained it to men too, “imagine having your balls in a vice and never knowing when they are going to be squeezed or hard they are going to be squeezed…and just wishing it would stop…BUT IT DOESN”T!”

  10. Endobitch I love your blog and will continue to follow-any advice on how to deal with the fact that my bf’s parents (both MD’s) have just told him that I will be infertile? 😦

  11. I just found you tonight. I’ve had a terrible month with the endo and been told everything from my “head’s not in the game’ to why don’t you just get it fixed. i’m sitting here waiting on the alarm.
    The percoset doesn’t work anymore and I want to yell at the world just go lay down in the road and let me get a moped and run over your midsection over and over and over until you know what it feels like.
    Thank you for starting this

  12. I just found you last night (while I was trying to attempt something constructive since I couldn’t sleep).

    I am especially thankful for your description regarding pain meds. I am tired of being talked to like I am addict because Vicodin helps my pain enough so I can get out of bed in the morning. I have been treated terribly by several doctors & it’s total bullshit.

    I hope you’ll have more posts soon because you rock.

    Thanks!


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